Hi, this is Dara del Rio with Somatic Spiritual Counseling. And today, this video is on answering the question: What happens when we process our trauma? What comes next? And so, the answer to this question, of course, is totally personal and depends on you. And in my experience and what I’ve witnessed with clients that I’ve seen grow over time is that there’s a natural progression through trauma into resiliency and into a deeper sense of one’s self, one’s purpose, one’s calling in life, as well as some other things, which maybe I’ll get to later.
But let’s just start with the basics. When we’re processing perhaps our developmental trauma from when we were young, or acute instances from when we’re older, or maybe about relationship, whatever it is, what we’re learning to do is feel into our body, be witness ultimately to what we’re going through and what we have experienced, how it’s affecting us now, and being able to release and detoxify that holding or stuckness in different ways. And so, once we become familiar with that process, our body starts communicating with us about more things more regularly. And it’s not just bad things. Information is a spectrum. And sometimes when there’s a really strong pain signal, we’re getting that. But we also get pleasure signals.
And as human beings, we have Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, and at the base, we’ve got safety and security. And once we have those needs met, we start moving up the ladder. And ultimately, when we have all of our basic needs met, when we have a sense of self, security, stability, community, support, then we move into wanting to self-actualize. And it’s a natural progression. I think it’s a natural somatic progression. And what I’ve noticed in myself and with my clients is that sometimes even in tandem with moving through difficult life experiences, another inner strength comes online. A sense of spiritual resiliency, a deeper sense of calling, of purpose, of mission. Maybe that manifests as a new hobby. Maybe that manifests as a career change, or really just like a positive movement into a deeper sense of fulfilment or gratitude or connection with what we already have, or a longing to change into something new in a positive way that isn’t reactionary or fearful, but just expansionary and growth-oriented.
And so, a question that I want to answer, both for myself and for you, is: What is a calling? What does a calling feel like? And how does that factor into healing? So, a calling, to me, comes from the body into the mind. And so, in that way, it’s really similar to the techniques that we’re using to move through painful past experiences, and it can come through the same channels. And what does it feel like? Maybe it’s different for everyone. I can only speak for myself. But a calling feels like a deep yearning for something. And it might be for something unexpected. It might be for something that you or I have been scared to admit. It could be something really, really simple and familiar.
So, when we’re moving out of trauma and into resiliency, our identity usually starts to shift. The stories we’ve been telling ourselves about who we are, that used to revolve around “Well, this is what happened to me. This is who I am,” might become “Well, this is what happened to me, and this is how I overcame those obstacles. And this is who I’m becoming.” And so, that shift from “This is who I am” to “This is who I’m becoming,” to me, really embodies the essence of what a calling is, because it’s not a static “Okay, I need to do this now.” It’s just like a movement forward into the unknown. And when we become more comfortable with ourselves and our own emotions, that fear and tight grip that we have over resistance to the unknown and to change starts to loosen a bit. And we become more able to freely navigate the feeling of being unsettled as not something wrong, but as something natural and as part of our cycle of regeneration and growth and decay and rest.
So, I hope that starts to give you a little bit of insight into what happens after we heal trauma, or what happens when we even start the process of healing trauma. In my experience and from what I’ve witnessed, not only do we have the capacity to heal, but we’re usually given, in tandem, new resources that we begin to connect with, either in the natural world, a sense of spiritual connection that we didn’t have, that pull us forward. So we’re both propelling ourselves forward through our own will and desire, and being pulled towards something bigger, so away from trauma and towards resiliency and growth.
So, I hope that gives you something to ponder. And I’m wondering if it resonates with your own experience or not. Either way, I’d love to know. I’m still in the data gathering phase, and I think everyone’s story is unique about what their trajectory into expansion and healing looks like.
So I’d love to hear from you. You can reach out to us at somaticspiritualcounseling.com/contact. That’s a good way to get a quick response. And I look forward to hearing from you. Until the next video. Chao!
Learn more about somatic therapy here.